AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE!

my grandma's dog just went blind.

ITS JUST NOT MY DAY (CANT YOU TELL BY THE CAPS?)

LEARNED I RAN OUT OF MONEY, MORNING $55 PARKING TICKET, COOKING FOOD TO SAVE MONEY TO PAY PARKING TICKET, FIRE ALARM SOUNDS, LANDLORD NOW AWARE I'M ILLEGALLY LIVING HERE, OPEN DOOR TO VENTILATE WHILE SWIRLING PILLOW BY ALARM, WIND BLOWS DOOR SHUT, I NEED THE WINDOWS OPEN!,  PAPER CUT IN MINI BLINDS, GET THE SMOKE OUT, ALARM PAUSES, ALARM BEGINS, ALARM ENDS, PULL SWEET POTATOES OUT,  PLAY GUITAR TO SOOTHE THE SOUL, BROKE A STRING, SAY F WORD. 

How genius apple is

I recently realized I didn't sign up for Apple's extended warranty in time though I paid for it already. It had expired and things looked bad. I couldn't wait to get a lecture from the parents about irresponsibility and timeliness. 

So I went on apple's website, and it asked ME if I would like a CALL FROM THEM! I said yes, and they called within the minute. 

The guy on the phone was unbelievably helpful and contacted the right people to confirm that they would enroll me in Apple Care even though I missed the deadline....essentially saving me $100 and family shame. 

This is the best customer service i have received ever...after being on the phone for an hour with AT&T trying to figure out why I couldn't set especially up a modem only to find out that they shipped me a faulty modem. Thanks...I want my 3 hours of life back. 

The rain in spain falls mainly on the plain

Today I opened up my weather screen to see that it is currently raining in all my favorite places. Solidarity sneaks up on you I suppose. 

Shout out to my fam in Brazil, Karina & Adam, & Marian the Librarian for "let[ting] the rain fall down". 

Fathers

I really love my dad. I've never meant somebody so predictably unpredictable.

This is the alien mask he bought for halloween that arrived two weeks later.

He tells me he's going to wake my 16 old cousin Taylor up one morning at 4am with it on.

I believe him. 

WHAT"?!?

With all the media coverage, I failed to see this footage of Sarah Palin in a beauty contest! This is no indication of her ability as a VP, I just think it's crazy how long they make the contestants display their backsides to the judges for. (Not joking, watch these!)

You Can Leave Anytime You Want To

One of my favorite artists of all time is Brian Webb. I saw him back in 2005 in a living room concert. I immediately went to buy his two CDs online that night. I've listened to the 24ish tracks countless times (CONFESSION: I tried starting a relationship with him on Myspace about a month ago and he didn't even respond my semi-flirtatious online advances.)

Anyways, he has this song called Tobias and it is (from what I have gathered) about the difficulties of really loving those who are hard to love. Tobias is a homeless man who is borderline intriguing, borderline creepster. The song tells a tale of the battle between our desire to reach out, love, and engage with the fringe but the ultimate  reality that our humanness comes up short. Even the best-intentioned humanitarian finds more inadequacy than ability.

The part of the song that has really been on my mind lately is Tobias' words to Brian Webb 

"You're so happy with yourself because you live with the poor, but you can leave anytime you want to."

This is the reality that limits us--that forbids us from really loving. We are assured that we can, in fact, "leave anytime we want to" and therefore will never be truly "here".

LISTEN HERE FOR FREE

GO CHEVRON

I really appreciate Chevron's attempt at educating the community about the complexities of energy. It also seems like they are using the millions of people who have played the game as 3rd party researchers which I appreciate as well. Take some time to get a more complicated and complex worldview. 

http://www.willyoujoinus.com/Energyville/

Enneagram Revisited

I went to http://www.9types.com/newtest/homepage.actual.html to retake the Enneagram Test. It's really insightful into the complexities of personality. Definitely no horoscope, you should check it. This is what I am.

The Adventurer (the Seven)

Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.
• Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.
• Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.
• Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.
• Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people.
• Don't tell me what to do.

What I Like About Being a Seven

• being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down
• being spontaneous and free-spirited
• being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun.
• being generous and trying to make the world a better place
• having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures
• having such varied interests and abilities

What's Hard About Being a Seven

• not having enough time to do all the things I want
• not completing things I start
• not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career
• having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies
• feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship

Sevens as Children Often

• are action oriented and adventuresome
• drum up excitement
• prefer being with other children to being alone
• finesse their way around adults
• dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up

Sevens as Parents

• are often enthusiastic and generous
• want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life
• may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive

Family Mayhem

I've recently introduced my 16 year old cousin to the world of politics and campaigns....and theft.

For more of Taylor The Cousin take a peak at this!

True Love Streaks

Working on a music video shoot

So I didn't get too many responsibilities, except for making signs...and you can see how well that went. 

A Young Dwight Schrute Found In Orange County Coffee Shop!

Humbled By Bus

If you are familiar with the LA bus system, you know that while I took this photo below I was carefully perched on the wheel well and the brochure wall because of the lack of room. 

This picture has in fact captured more "Happenings" than the recent hit blockbuster film "The Happening". 

For example, at my bottom right, two elderly British tourists (accents and good bus maps were my first clue) sit cooly, hoping I'll stop resting my feet on their armrest...nice try Crumpets, but not in America! Red white and blue! These colors don't run!

There's also a voluminous amount of teen angst aboard which will always have a place in my heart. 

The packed bus is evidence enough that more lines need run. 

The most interesting part of this picture, and primary purpose for this entry, however, is Mr. Bluetooth. Now, I suppose this could be a low-income man with a junky piece of technology he swiped at the 99cent store as a sort of status power-play, but I'm willing to wager quite the opposite. 

In a day where gas prices are still significantly higher than they should be, a tech buff with a bluetooth & nice dress shirt sits next to a pregnant woman heading for community college (I asked) and under the armpit of an honest & hardworking man ( I assumed). This is magical. 

I know gas prices are out of control. And I know buses smell. And I know the economy is falling to pieces (special thanks to Alex Aviles). But, in a way, I'm a little bit glad. 

I'm glad because without this armageddon of sorts, I don't think I would have had the privilege to balance on a steel railing for two hours-- witnessing the oftentimes failed interaction of the elderly with the homeless, the hungry with the wealthy, the happy with the sad, the understanding with the not-so-understanding, the grateful with the not-so-ungrateful, the travelers with the commuters, and so on and so forth. 

We need to see each other a little more; break into our respective bubbles. We need to relearn how to interact. We no longer have the luxury of our individually, air-conditioned escapes (NOTE: Not a social commentary of the Ford Escape). We have forgotten what it's like to not be the center of the universe, to not matter, and to not take ourselves so seriously.

Thus, I'm not even mad at gas prices any more. I look up at that sign and I smile which is mind-bottling when it's 90% of my monthly expenses. The high prices force us together and we could all use a little more togetherness....unless you witness someone get shot at a bus stop (Bern)...then you're off the hook. 

If this world was a 1000 person village...

I know this website has been circling around the mom-emailing-forwards network but it is intriguing to put the world in perspective. I just shortened most of the lists so check out the website for the full details.

If the world were a village of 1,000 people, it would include:

· 584 Asians
· 124 Africans
· 95 East and West Europeans
· 84 Latin Americans

In this village of 1,000 there are:

· 329 Christians (among them 187 Catholics, 84 Protestants, 31 Orthodox)
· 178 Moslems
· 167 "non-religious"

· In this 1,000-person community, 200 people receive 75 percent of the income; another 200 receive only 2 percent of the income.

· Only 70 people of the 1,000 own an automobile (although some of the 70 own more than one automobile).

· About one-third have access to clean, safe drinking water.

· Of the 670 adults in the village, half are illiterate.

The village allocates 83 percent of its fertilizer to 40 percent of its cropland - that owned by the richest and best-fed 270 people.

In the village of 1,000 people, there are:

· 5 soldiers
· 7 teachers
· 1 doctor
· 3 refugees driven from home by war or drought

The village has a total budget each year, public and private, of over $3 million - $3,000 per person if it is distributed evenly (which, we have already seen, it isn't).

Of the total $3 million:

· $181,000 goes to weapons and warfare
· $159,000 for education
· $l32,000 for health care

The village has buried beneath it enough explosive power in nuclear weapons to blow itself to smithereens many times over. These weapons are under the control of just 100 of the people. The other 900 people are watching them with deep anxiety, wondering whether they can learn to get along together; and if they do, whether they might set off the weapons anyway through inattention or technical bungling; and, if they ever decide to dismantle the weapons, where in the world village they would dispose of the radioactive materials of which the weapons are made.

Homelessness, Craziness, and R&Bness

A few days ago I had to wait for the bus for about a half hour. Fifteen minutes into it, I got so incredibly bored that I began to sing some R&B favorites out loud, but certainly to/for myself. Tunes such as (but not limited to): "The boy is mine" by Brandy & Monica, "All My Life" by KCi & Jojo (why is there an "i" on KC!??), and Brian McNight's "Startin Back At 1". 

Let me be clear: this is no mindless blog entry. I am genuinely drawing this conclusion: Homeless people that appear to be out of their minds have every right to be. I dare you to roam the streets of LA for over a day an not start ranting a little about communist manifestos or singing a smooth, lush vocal arrangement. 

I have come to believe that we are all about 3 or 4 decisions away from being just like anyone else in the world. That can be empowering for those striving for the top, but I think it's worth considering the next time you see someone belting some Boys II Men to nobody.

That could be you in a matter of decisions. 

Pinhead

Convicted forger A. Schiller was serving his time in Sing Sing prison in the late 1800s when guards found him dead in his cell. On his body they found seven regular straight pins whose heads measured the typical 47/1000ths of an inch or 1.17 millimeters in diameter. Under 500 magnification it was found that the tiny etchings seen on the heads of the pins were the words to The Lord's Prayer, which is 65 words and 254 letters long. Of the seven pins, six were silver and one was gold - the gold pin's prayer was flawless and a true masterpiece. Schiller had spent the last 25 years of his life creating the pins, using a tool too small to be seen by the naked eye. It is estimated that it took 1,863 sepatate carving strokes to make it. Schiller went blind because of his artwork.

All this for only $350

Today I was listening to Free Speech radio on 90.7. I turn to this station whenever I'm feeling either intellectual or dumb--it solves both ailments. I was intrigued initially by a professional on Tibetan politics and the Dalai Lama, but today's broadcast took the cake....the reincarnation cake that is!

That's right, you used to be Abraham Lincoln and now you are just an angsty, side-banged teen. 

Anywhoot, this man was talking about a conference that is the only one of its kind dedicated to reincarnated living individuals. So basically Fred Miller was previously Anne Frank, Michael Jackson is really Mozart, Obama is the senator who helped Lincoln with the Emancipation Proclaimation, the list goes on and on. 

Now for the gravy train, THE CONFERENCE IS IN LA! Marina Del Rey to be ironic enough, the most plain, traditional, conservative part in the LA county. So naturally I went the website only to find 2 very outrageous things: The evening entertainment itinerary and the $350 admission!

Friday
Comedy by Swami Beyondanda 
and keyboard music by Paul Armitage, 
the reincarnation of composer Edvard Grieg

Saturday
Storytelling and harp music by Erik Berglund, 
the reincarnation of Hans Christian Anderson

Sunday
The Bacher Boys, the reincarnations of Laurel & Hardy, 
Performing “The Funniest Show in the World”

So the question arises....who's with me?

Pulling my weight

I live in a certain situation that I am very fortunate to be in...in which I do not pay rent but I have a couch with my unofficial name on it. "How generous!" you say..you are correct. So, to pull my own weight around here I have taken on the housekeeping duties of a french maid. Dishes, bed making, dusting (feather duster not included), tidying up, laundry, watering, and most recently---MAINTENANCE. 

The toilet's broken....the handle's fell off and there's no connection to the actual flushy thingy.

NOTE: Not actual diagram, way more complex and no rubber ball at bottom. 

Today was the day to right this wrong! I proceded to Staples where I knew I could find some cheap superglue and possibly some tiestraps. I needed 2 tiestraps...one for the toilet and the other for.....that's not important right now. Bottom line, it was $10 for 100 tie straps so I did what an self-respecting woman would do: Stole 2 yellow ones and stuffed them in my boardshorts. 

For those of you who are staunchly oppposed to theft, I will offer this one "that's karma bitch!" tale.....I ended up supergluing my thumb and index together with a sheet of toilet paper between the two. 

It won't come off...and that's what she said...it actually is because I said it and I am a "she". 

Oh and superglue doesn't work on metal...which is what the handle is made of. KARMA. 

Click here for a very relevant treat!

Oh Canada!

Our rental car in Canada is a hybrid. Nuf said. 

If everybody lived like me..

According to this awesome site, http://www.ecofoot.org/, if everybody lived like me we'd need more than 5 planets to sustain our lives. After you take their quiz, it will generate a picture of your life followed by statistics of how much land, food, water, etc you consume. Click on mine to see how selfish I am...but seriously it has action items and ways to reduce your carbon footprint, more than anything it is a resource rich website and a good kick in the pants (are only guys supposed to use that?).

Ultimate Geek Girl Blogger Contest

 Win AGAIN with the ultimate geek girl!

Ultimate Geek Girl blog is an interesting compliation of internet fun facts, life hacks, and more. I found the commuting to work blog entry to be especially helpful considering my new lust for the free-wheeling life choice of mine. Another entry regarding fun sites to visit before starting up school was great as well. Rondee.com is a site using Skype-like VOIP but with conference call function and no video. There was also a link to a free sms site in case you forget to bring your phone to class and still want to text out of boredom. On the whole, I enjoyed this blog and even more on the whole I am only writing this review of the blog in order to be eligible to win Ultimate Geek Girl’s blog contest. So in many ways this isn’t the most interesting blog entry of mine, but if I win the contest….well then things could get VERY interesting….In conclusion (and you can tell by now that the restrictions are a minimum of 150 words)…thank you for your time and warnomore! That’s 180 words!

New Blog: Off The Beaten Path

I've grown weary of this nonsense blog and therefore I have created another one which I will update quite frequently with oftentimes cheap, possibly free, and always fun things to do in LA such as 

1) Hikes in the Ballona Wetlands (Anja!)

2) Free Metro Passes & Guided Art Walking Tour

3) Roller-skate Dance Clubs in Venice

4) Free Popcorn at Bars

5) A band that let's you step in for any of their members & play

6) Ethiopian Soul Food Jazz Club

7) $6 Burger, Fries, & 2 Pints Mondays

8) 39 cent Martinis Downtown

9) Beach Boardwalk Sunset Bike Rides

10) ...and more.

Those are just the off-the-cuff ones, it only gets better from here. 

Anyways, here's the link.  

Social Commentary

One quick question...perhaps this is more "parental commentary", but why did my parents sign me up for California Driving School (pictured above). It's a yellow taxi that I had to drive up and down past my high school peers and they laughingly looked on. Move over leather belt, this is child abuse at it's finest. I saw this car on the freeway this morning and it really brought all those feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing to the forefront again. 

While I love coca-cola, and there's no finer way to sip it than through a bottle like so...I truly believe they might control more of the world than we think. For example, when I lived in Brazil, there was a 2 liter of Coke on the table at every meal. I ended up suffereing from extreme dehydration because of this dietary shift...though I was covinced it was Dengue Fever. Coke is an interesting product, click here for Snopes for more "cokelore". 

High schoolers (cousin pictured above) have way too many books! It's unbelievable. One day they'll do SAT prep in Kindergarten if they don't already. Either we need to let kids be kids, or we should come out with a new business that reinforces book-bag straps... because something's gonna give. 

Amazing Website For City Info

I stumbled upon this CITY DATA website (without actually using StumbleUpon.com) and it is unbelievably thorough. 

Here is just a few of the interesting statistics it has formulated for the zipcode 90045.  

The website look itself is jenky, but it has data galore. Put in your zipcode and be amazed at the bigger picture. 

Thank You For Showing Us The True Aloha Spirit

Well I am back in Kauai after being away for 4 months, and nothing much has changed which is the best news in the world. 

This blog is not very interesting if you are not Jenn, Paisley, Bern, or Lana but here are some pics and vids that I took today that made me miss being with you guys on this fine island. 

SHAKAS!

Al Pal

We are ANIMALS!

This photo was taken yesterday at Bristol Farms. 

How bad can someone want Split Pea soup?!

We are animals.

Ready Made Magazine

I found this little wonder at Fancy Tiger in Denver and I immediately took a liking to it. I forgot the name until today and got a free trial subscription which should prove pleasing. 

This magazine has awesome ideas for simple and (sometimes) wholesome fun. I really suggest checking out the website at the very least.

CLICK HERE FOR READY MADE MAG ONLINE

How Business Majors Decide Stuff

In a recent tough decision, MK Ward and I constructed a "weighted pros & cons" list in which we eventually surmised that the pros did in fact outweigh the cons. 

The difficult decision you ask? I'll tell you when you're older.

POOL PANORAMAS

I Won!

For those of you I haven't told already, and you may few and far between, with all my copious free time being unemployed and single, I have begun to enter contests!

Recently, I was made aware of a Good Magazine contest in which you had to give a tour of your home town. Galavanting (bike-riding) around Venice & Santa Monica, I made a 2 minute short complete with Italian tourists, super models (Paisley), and more! 

I ended up winning and therefore I have 2 tickets on Jet Blue anywhere coming my way shortly. They also gave me this shirt, a free mag, and a tour of the offices on Melrose. 

I know this is risky to post such a winning in my blog, and I'm sure I'm going to have distant relatives "a-comin' out the woodwork" but I just have to shout this from the rooftops!

So, check it out on their site, plus it's a really cool magazine. I suggest you take a further gander after being blown away by my stage presence, champion camera work, and overall professionalism. 

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO 

Death To My Relationship Status

Today is the day I became a woman..and by that I mean I finally changed my Facebook relationship status from "It's Complicated" to "N/A". The decision was liberating. It was a literal and metaphorical untying of previous pains and tragedies alike, a proverbial key that broke the camel's back, and many more things to be sure.

What caused this significant change you ask: I realized that my status, in fact, is no longer complicated. Moreover, it is rather UNCOMPLICATED (as one's life naturally is when you are tragically unattached, solo, spouseless, footloose AND fancy free with the very serious possibility of dying alone.)

So, here I am world: uncomplicated with copious hours of spare time that was previously spent on my backbreaking and burdensome love life. Now I have the freedom to chacha questions like "how long are cat's memories?" and "is I am Legend based on a true story?"...

...9 hours and absolutely not (respectively.)

Check out Ingrid Michaelson's Die Alone with Buffy The Vampire Slayer Clips for More Fun in the Sun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDDTu27RfwM

about

15/F/ Fort Lauderdale
Interests: This and That
Hobbies: Cheese

A Crime To End All Crimes

In LA, and stranded without a car, I decided to take public transportation from Playa Del Rey, Ca to Costa Mesa, Ca. This should be "not so bad", I thought. With not the highest of expectations, I ventured out in what would soon become one of the worst ideas of my life. 

I will start with the positive, on the four hour bus ride/MetroLink combination, I was able to see a side of Los Angeles I had not been previously exposed to: Crenshaw, people on drugs, elderly women bitching out elderly men, the mysterious location of where our recycling and trash goes, and more. Had it not been for these things, I would have totally regretted my transportational decision. 

Here are the steps and costs laid out for your eyes to see, and your heart to feel: 

1) Bus 115 to IHOP- $1.25

2) Dropped at IHOP with suitcase & backpack only to find "Route Aborted"

3) Tried to scam free WIFI access in IHOP bathroom to "Reroute"

4) WIFI Not Available

5) Wandering eventually leads to alternate route

6) Bus 42A Downtown LA/Union Station $1.25 

7) 2 Hours until arrive at Union Station total

8) 1.5 Hours to Kill Before Metrolink Orange County Line Leaves @ 2:30pm

9) Purchase Metrolink Ticket: $9.50

10) Wander Olvera Street with suitcase in tow

11) Find hole in teh wall vegetarian cafe that boasts best mexican hot chocolate and tamales

12) After going to ATM because of a $40 credit card limit, I find they are out of hot chocolate and tamales!

13) Order a cappuccino and sit down to use free WIFI

14) Cappuchino is worst I've ever tasted and there's no wifi

15) Chug watery cap and make my way to my train

16) Train ride lovely though I overhear a young man from Georgia confuse the words "human" and "humid" while describing Atlanta. 

17) Text Katie slack about the hilarity of the confusion because of a previous waiter we had and his confusion with "specific" and "pacific". 

18) Arrive in Santa Ana Train Station

19) No free bus to Orange County Fair because Friday is NOT A WEEKEND

20) Take a taxi with 3 Torrance Youth Boys who overuse the F word and we almost crash because of their heathen ways...perhaps. 

21) Arrive at Orange County Fair $7 split cab fair 4 ways. Tipped extra for "life or death moment"

22) Father picks me up at Fair entrance only to find out that my step mom had the day off and would have loved to have picked me up from LA

$1.25+$1.25+$9.50+$7 and 4 hours of my life

Praise God For The Intangibles

Multnomah Falls, Oregon

1 Hour Drive To Multnomah Falls: $40 in gas

1 Mile Hike To The Top Of The Falls: $10 of respiratory dysfunction

Turkey & Cheddar Sandwich Lunch: $Stolen From Anja's Parents House

Anja's 10 year-old Cousin Garrett Singing Natasha Beddingfield: Priceless

Bern, eat your heart out

I'm staying in a house with Pumpkin.

These Days

I'm thinking of trying to take a picture every day and post it because I don't think I have the self-discipline to write. 

So today, I'm in Portland visiting Anja and we've been having quite the Pacific Northwestern Hippie Fun time here. These are a little "rock art" from the Saturday Market. If you aren't interested in buying these hand carved rocks, the man offers CDs with improvisational African mouth harps. 

Everybody Has One

Top 10 Things Everybody Has That Makes Me Jealous Enough To Have Them Too:

1) A Blog

2) A Bellybutton

3) A Pug

4) A Hybrid Honda Civic

5) A Super Hot Japanese Significant Other

6) A Nose Ring (oh, never mind, that's something I had that Bern was jealous enough to get)

7) A #7

8) A Job (not jealous enough, apparently)

9) A College Degree

10) A Top 10 List