3 Awkward Moments with 1 Person

I'm at this thing and this girl arrives and I haven't seen this girl in like 3 years so I am super excited and let out a pretty loud and energetic "HEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

As she gets closer and returns my HEYYYYYYY with more of a "hey" I realize I do not know this girl. 

Later in the night I try to shirk off some of my awkward feelings by telling someone this story. They laugh and then point over to her to ask "is that the girl?"

The girl sees us laughing and pointing at her. 

Crap. 

At this point (2 awkward things), I know I have to go talk to her- clear the air. 

I go over to her. Explain the whole HEYYYYYYY thing. She laughs. I'm feeling comfortable. Confident in my choice to set the record straight. 

I bring up the pointing. She says she didn't notice. She might be lying. I don't mind, the air is clear. 

I leave by saying "well, it was really nice to meet you" with a kind-of-smile like "get it, because i thought i knew you when i saw you but it turns out i didn't"

To which she replies, "well, actually I already met you last summer at that leadership retreat in arizona". 

Great.

Awkward Hat-trick 

Connecting With The Youth of a Nation

Disclaimer:: Anyone who has a problem with sneaking into movies, stop reading here. I'm not interested in being judged by you & your thick wallet. 

This is how the other half lives. 

The names of the parties involved have been changed to protect them from potential law enforcement troubles. The links, however, are perfectly accurate.

So Betty, Penny, & I set out to sneak into The Walkway Theater Delux on Saturday to see the hit drama "Really Into You" staring Fiance. Now, we  only know how to sneak into the first floor of theaters, meaning we can see movies from theaters 1-9. Really Into You was playing in theater 14. 

So, as the boot-strappers we are, we proceeded to make lemonade....the lemons being all the horrible action movies playing on the first floor. ..and the boots...those being made for walking.

We split up, divide & conquer, only to discover not one interesting movie playing...UNTIL I stumbled into theater 7!

On the silver screen was a boy. A very good looking boy, with a babyface that would make even a baby jealous. He was in western wear. He had a glimmer of hope in his eye. I was intrigued.

But what was the film? Certainly not a cheesy shootem up, done before a thousand times, flic. 

And then he said those seventeen sweet words: "Miley knows Hannah, maybe she could perform at the benefit concert & save old man Weaver's mill!"

Yes friends, theater 7 was playing Hannah Montana. I paged Betty & Penny on their pagers that I had found the holy grail. We spent the next hour or so near-tears, laughing loudly along with our 6-year old neighbors, and genuinely appreciating a teen-boppin cult classic. 

I can say with all honesty I enjoyed this film. It was funny, precious, wholesome, and I'd be lying if I said I was only brought to "near-tears". 

We walked out feeling great. Sure we felt a little silly...but hey, we didn't pay nothin to see it so really what's the loss? Human dignity, intellectual property, pride? Pish-posh. 

But it wasn't until tonight that I helped out at club for San Clemente YoungLife that this whole movie choice move fully made sense to me. 

Tonight was a night of hanging out with roughly 60 high school girls. Conversation was a little sticky at first...them looking curiously at my sloppy flanel and greasy skin, me wondering why I chose to wear a greasy flanel & sloppy skin if I were to try to connect with upper-middle class white 16 year old girls.

And then it hit me...

"It's the CLIMBBBBBBBBBBB" resonated in my head and heart. We were all sizing each other up. I needed a common denominator. So I said what any self-respecting twenty two year old woman would in this situation: 

"Seriously you guys, how hot is that guy in Hannah Montana?

It was ridin on the gravy train from then on out. I praised the Lord (who is Walt Disney as it ironically turns out) for helping me out. For knitting together my life in a patchwork of confusing decisions, poor movie choices, and moving & shaking to the counterintuitive beat of my heart.

Walt is real and this is my proof.  

freaky friday

the lord giveth, and the lord taketh away

puffy paint & nail polish urban art project

TGI--SYNF: Thank Goodness It's Steal Your Neighbor's Furnitureday

the life & times

stand up comedian: "what's the deal with global warming..."

this is why i love tanners

paisley & my man-made-luncheon

love

newport sahara desert

oh whaddup

scrounge

bocce queen: taylor cordeiro

longing

Workin at the

Bowling For Bean Dip

bookstore horseplay

i would be proud to call this my daughter

possibly the most boring/lame speaker to ever grace the halls of barnes & noble

what does this even mean?  and how do they know?

back bay panorama

New Eyes

Last week I went to San Francisco with some highschoolers and stayed in an area called The Tenderloin. Rumor has it, it's called that because cops historically have been paid more to work there because of its undesirable-ness and, thus, were able to afford the tenderloin cut of meat. I don't know if that is true. It doesn't really matter though. What matters is the people I met living there.

I met a Berkley graduate who helped invent the cell phone. I met a musician, Frankie Lynn, who is putting on a televised concert in June. He played a 2 string guitar and sang like and angel--or at least like Eric Clapton.

I met a man, Cameo, who was blingin' & thugged out listening to his headphones. I asked him what he was listening to. His answer: Slipknot. He says he's been listening to it for a month straight. He's had his nose pierced for 10 years. I think that's the longest I've ever heard of. He fought fires in the San Gabriel Mountains and saved countless rich white people's homes. I met a man who was proud to tell me about the kids he raised and the ones that have graduated college. Some have wives and kids. It brought a light to his eyes.

I met a woman who gets beat by her husband so bad she's got scars on her face. I met a young guy, Joshua, who loved strawberry soda and who had the 49ers logo tattooed on his hand. He couldn't wait to get it removed. I met a man reading Les Miserables. Sometimes he takes whole days to do nothing but study. I met a girl Monica Bethelwood who played music on the street. Her voice was haunting in the best way. She loved her music the way a man loves a woman. I got her demo. Check out her myspace.

I met a man who taught a group of us how to play "1 bounce ping pong". I met a woman who looked very scared. I met a man who was proud of his new puppy. I met a woman, Kayla, who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She used the phrase "That's right on time!" when referring to the hot chocolate we offered her. She said I could borrow the phrase. I told her I would. I have.

I met a man who said he killed a lot of people and warned us that we could be killed too if we weren't careful. When he shook my hand I worried he wouldn't let go. He did. I met a man, David, who owned a U.S. registered 501(c)(3) tax-deductible nonprofit charity. Chris told us the only way he survives is because he "knows what he's willing to do and what he isn't willing to do". White Rapper was from Conneticut and offered to split us 50/50 if he got famous.

Fel was a veteran who carried on intellegent conversation--each word nourishing him like food does us. He told me he doesn't eat for days sometimes. He asked how much I paid for my North Face (Answer: $15). Relieved, he admitted he felt uncomfortable talking to me when he assumed I paid $100 for it and therefore in a "higher tax bracket" than him. He used to have patches on his jeans in elementary school. He's applying for a pell grant to get a college education. He told me a little about Agent Orange. He's got more dreams than most.

I met a man who was peeing when we began talking to him. He apologized profusely. Surprisingly, I didn't really mind. I met a guy named Ok. All he wanted was socks. I mean, he wanted more, but socks seemed very important to him. I met a young woman who hated my face or my spirit or something about me. She told us she was living in hell. She told us we were wasting our time. She told me to grow up. She thought I was 10. She gave a guy in a wheelchair a lap dance and broke his boombox in the process. I've thought about her every day since. I really believed she was going to hurt me. She didn't. She might have. But I was saved by Mario who offered his chicken wings.

I met a mystery man who begged us to be the change. I don't want to let him down.

I met a man, Lance, who lost his wife and daughter in a car accident. I saw him everyday for a week. He felt like a familiar friend. He always had tears in his eyes. I met RJ, who has a daughter in college. She's 18. He surfed Pipeline and body surfed The Wedge all his life. He's too ashamed to contact her. He refuses to talk to anyone who is his daughter's age because it's a reminder of the bad dad he is. He bared his soul to my 18 year old friend Jen over spaghetti on Wednesday. Her house is right by The Wedge. That made him feel comfortable. I think that's amazing.

I met a woman, Christine, whose husand would send her to the market for beer but she would buy chocolate instead.

I met three friends who were all drunk and so very nice. I was afraid to approach them at first. They told us church jokes. We all laughed a lot. Until Dana showed up. Then these friends turned evil in their faces. They all screamed horrible things at her. They told her she was insane--"a loon". She burned her own hair off as a sacrifice after her brother died according to her religion. She's the one who invented the cell phone. She pleaded with us that she wasn't crazy. I believed her. We all did. Later we found out she was.

I met a man who used to own a commercial fishing company. He showed me his business card & matching driver's liscense to prove his name. I already believed him. His girlfriend has multiple sclorosis. He drinks to "medicate the pain". He knows the bible front to back.

I met a guy, Dark Horse, who was ruined since the day he left the reservation. He crossed a 4 lane street without looking. Cars screetched to a halt. He didn't notice. And Cameo, the firefighter, he fought fires to get out of jail faster, but was changed for the better anyways despite his intentions. The appreciation of those homeowners unlocked his heart to feel useful again. He now helps at a homeless shelter.

So here's all these stories of people on the street and I don't know what the point of all of this is.

I guess it's that no matter what, there's always more than meets the eye. And I truly believe these people have given me new eyes. Eyes that find it harder to shut down or turn away. Eyes that see people--not just homeless people. But men who don't understand the group joke because they don't speak english. Or highschoolers that are made fun of by the clothes they wear. Or single dads who are just trying to keep it together. Or old ladies alone on couches at parties.

Because Antonio, he sat in silence all night. And James, he's got 8 adopted brothers and sisters and his parents are getting divorced. And Mark, he got stabbed with a corkscrew and had to unscrew it out of his stomach. And Betty, well she wanted to socialize but she just couldn't stand up.

Tonight I met Betty with my new eyes. Before I probably would have not been too interested in an 80 year old glued to the lonely living room couch when everyone else is talking story & wining in the kitchen. But Betty was watching the Laker game alone...and more importantly she was by the veggie platter. Immediately as I sat down she apologized "I'm not unsocial, it's just hard to stand on this foot for long periods of time."

Betty then proceeded to rock my world.

At age 18, she almost married the top Iranian diplomat in Washington. She was a meteorologist at the time for the government. He gave her a Lincoln black towncar, begged her to come back with him and make blue eyed-blonde babies, and made it perfectly clear that he was enamored with her. Luckily, she didn't take him up on his offer after discovering he intended on adding her to his harem of 10 other women.

When the men came back from the war, they tried to phase her out of the weather business by creating an impossible test she would have to pass. She studied. And studied. And studied. Out of all the women in her department, she was the only one that kept her job.

After that, she became a travel agent. She romped around for years--Europe backpacking, 20 days in the Thai jungle, and more. She then married at age 24 a major in the Army who was returning from WW2. He began testing rockets for the military and was exposed on a several occasions to nuclear waste in the San Fernando Valley testing center & was present for the Rocketdyne explosion in 1959.

He was never the same after, sick for 20 years, and eventually died of unnatural causes. (Search Betty Reo for her portion in the link). It was only at her demand that he quit when he did--she attributed the foresight to her intuition and meterology education. At one point, her and her husband had an egg ranch too.

She's been a diehard Lakers fan since Kareem Abdul Jabar--never missing a game on TV. She let me in on the secret of keeping a husband happy. She admitted her surprise that a young person like me even talked to her--not to mention was interested in the things she was saying.

Her face lit up with every story.

So what is the point of all this. I guess I'm trying to share these new eyes. And maybe you're hearing this and something strikes a chord. Or maybe not. I don't know.

All I know is that I was struck.